Break the cycle.

Making mistakes is a part of the human condition that can often lead to heartache and pain.  Oftentimes if the person making the mistake isn’t mindful enough to care about someone’s feelings they will never truly feel sorry for what they have done, only sorry for themselves once they realize the full extent of the mistake.  If they did not care enough to consider the consequences of their actions and the feelings of another they can never be truly sorry for their decisions.  I agree with the saying that “stupid should be painful” simply because it would teach lessons and perhaps some would break the endless cycle of pain they inflict on the people that care.   There is no medication out there that cures “dumbass”. If there was I know a few people out there that should have it hidden in their food.  There are still some poor souls out there that have yet to have their hearts crushed and don’t know what it feels like.   If it happens I am sorry and for them I am writing this.   Be wary of the questions you ask and the answers you seek.  What you find may not be the ones you are looking for at that moment.  They may cause hurt and pain but in the long run, you get what you ask for.  Stuff happens for a reason and you may not be the cause but you are always a part of the solution.

Just let go.

There may come a time when you realize there are certain traits you possess that you don’t mean to have but were forced into having.  These are the traits that work to your advantage to protect your head and your heart from harm, but they also can work against you and cause you to hurt someone you don’t mean to.  If you are smart enough to realize you have a problem, then there is a chance.  Just about anything can be unlearned.  Sometimes the hurt you’ve experienced in the past subconsciously works it’s way into your present relationships by trying to protect you from being hurt again.  There is a problem with this.  If you’re trying to protect yourself without you even knowing then perhaps you aren’t really aware of what exactly is going on and perhaps it’s not always someone else but more you.  Maybe it’s your actions that are causing you to be unhappy with your current situation and not someone else’s entirely.  It could be that the person you’re with triggers a defensive mode that keeps you from being hurt and instead of reacting as you normally would, you react another way entirely and maybe realize it a bit too late.  This same subconscious shield may also prevent you from really being close because you’re afraid of what might happen if you are.  It works like an onyx veil reflecting the light off of you and at the same time keeping in the darkness to burn until it’s finally hot enough to break through.  Hopefully you are mindful enough to realize that you are the cause and solution to your own happiness.

Find someone that you “want to be with” not “need to be with”.  One needs to realize the power they have over themselves and use it to empower your ability to just let go.  It’s easier to say forget it but a lot harder to actually follow through because the more you think about just letting something go the more it causes you problems simply because you are thinking about what caused the pain in the first place.  Forgive and forget is the best possible answer to such things. Guarding yourself from opening up to someone else and expecting someone to let you down does nothing but speed up the process. Battle your own demons and if you must break a heart, let it be your own.

Wake up.

Sometimes in your life you may feel used, abused, beaten and neglected by some of the people you try to care for the most.  You may feel unappreciated and tired of fixing their problems.  After all they are the ones that created them in the first place.  They say blood is thicker than water only perhaps it’s easier to use family members bond because there is history over a complete stranger.  A family member will bend over backwards to try and help you when you need it most as long as you don’t burn them repeatedly.  The question that remains though is when is enough enough?  When is it that you’re supposed to call it quits and just plainly say “Deal with it, it’s your problem”.  There may come a time in your life when doing good for others feels like it’s more important than doing good for yourself.  Well the selfless days should be behind you before they even start.  If you aren’t happy with your own situation then in the end helping someone else out with their situation won’t help yours one bit.  It will actually just push you down more and more until you break and think to yourself something has got to give.  The only thing that has to give is you, to yourself.  Selfless acts of kindness towards others that use you will never be rewarded no matter how long you wait.

There comes a time when you need to take the next step not for anyone else but yourself.  Don’t do it because you want to.  Do it because you need to.  You are your number one.  Don’t put using family members above you.  Kids are a different story.  If you are a parent your kids come first over your own personal needs and wants.  If you can’t take care of your own kids and you are the parent, then perhaps you should change the way you are to benefit them.  A good parent can be someone of any age as long as they put the kids first and do the right thing to make sure they are taken care of properly.  Your kids should be your life not your life the kids’.  Some people need to wake the hell up and do the right thing to save their family the burden of bailing them out.

Selfless humility.

Why is it that some can go through life without caring or showing compassion for others and without exposing their true selves?  These are the people that show up at the scene of an accident only to watch.  These aren’t your heroes.  Is it easier going through life watching others in misery and not throwing a lifeline to save them?  Is it easy turning your back on your fellow man and enjoying their misery as long as it doesn’t affect you in any way?  The way the world is changing around us it would seem that just might be that easy.  Perhaps some people want to portray themselves as something different instead of showing which cards they are actually playing with.

Some say I shouldn’t care and I should only worry about myself.  The root problem to those ideas is the fact that most of the time noone cares and that job of caring and making sure everything remains running smooth is left to the person who didn’t ask for or accept the responsibility.  The problem is when you think ahead and watch people ignore their problems long enough that eventually they become yours to fix because everyone else neglects them.  If the person dealing with all the problems is the person drowning in the problems others created, who is left to do the saving?  Is being selfless to make others happy more imporant than making yourself happy?  Is holding yourself to higher standards and expectations than you hold others to really worth it?  Is it true that free thinkers and intellectuals are being phased out by the sheep in society that do whatever they want to because there are no more repercussions?  Instead of people turning to themselves or whatever faith they have for insipiration they turn to the filth they call music.  I call it garbage that’s not even worth the five cents of plastic it’s sold on.

It’s better to wear your feelings on your sleeves and not hide anything from anyone.  Try to be the best representation of your self that is humanly possible.  There is nothing to hide.  Do anything for anyone without asking for anything in return and even more for the people that really matter most to you.  Humility at times can be your own worst enemy.  Perhaps sometimes people need to be saved from themselves.  One day everything that you do now may matter.  It might matter to the right person.  If you are told something in confidence don’t repeat it to someone else.  Perhaps life is easier as a misogynist with a vice to vent your frustrations.  Estrogen causes hope to fall to the earth like a lead balloon in a ball of misguided flames aimed directly at the hopeful.  There has to be something more than just a muse to keep one thinking about the brighter side of things.  Something that is the light in your darkness.

Sacrificial lamb.

Is it wrong to feel the need to sacrifice one’s self for the greater good of others even if it’s at the cost of everything you are or aspire to be?  Is it wrong to sacrifice everything for someone else?  To lay everything out in front of them and allow them to make their own poor choices because you don’t really feel like you have a choice to make yourself?  Is it right that when you’re already drowning and looking for one gulp of air to make everything alright that others feel compelled to push you down even farther away from everything you need?  It’s not only the past that changes people, it’s also the fear of the future.  The fear of burning that one last bridge to the only person who could throw you a rope if you were drowning.  Sometimes you may feel like a sacrificial lamb.  There are very few people out there still trying to do good in the world for other people.  I won’t call myself a saint because I’ve made my share of mistakes in the past and I’ve paid dearly for all of them.  Treat people like you want to be treated does not always apply.  People should be treated like they want to be treated only if they deserve it and even then it’s a personal choice.

Respect is something that should be given first before it is lost. If you treat people respectfully, you should expect to be treated the same way back. This does not always happen. Sometimes you will run into people who like to take out all their personal problems on everyone they come in contact with. You should never have to hide who you are or what you stand for. If you pretend to be something you’re not you should not expect respect. You should be respected for who you truly are and how you are, not who you want people to perceive you to be. Don’t do anything you would ever be ashamed of. Tell the truth no matter how much it may hurt if it’s asked for. Sometimes you can’t tell someone how you really feel only because it would be disrespectful.  Don’t give advice unless it’s asked for and also be honest to yourself. Talk to someone not like you are judging them, but as an equal.  Only God can judge me.

Opposites attract.

Whoever came up with the saying “opposites attract” clearly wasn’t with the person long enough to really get a feel for who they really are. The basic foundations of any relationship will absolutely crumble to dust if there are too many differences. The initial attraction may be there, but in the end the same reason the two people were attracted to each other in the first place will be the same reason why they push apart. Never hide who you really are. I’m not saying that you need to find a clone. We choose friends who are like us because of the similar thinking and interests. We don’t normally look for people exactly like us when we are looking for a mate, most of the times it’s looking for the part of yourself that you’ve always needed and wanted. This works for the most part, but in the end just try and find happiness in whatever form it may be in. It may take a few tries to really realize what it is exactly that you are looking for. When you find it, make sure you don’t let it go.

The same goes for the saying “money isn’t everything”. Well have you ever tried living without it? We are forced as humans living how and where we do to rely on money to some degree. Why is it that relatives always fight over money or belongings of a person who has passed away? Is it because they want a part of that person or is it more along the lines of human greed. If nothing was setup like a will when someone passes away there are always scavengers looking to get whatever they can. Families break up over deaths but not because the person is gone, more because the fighting that starts over the deceased person’s belongings. People are killed every day over minimal amounts of money. Is it really easier to live without it? Desperate people do desperate things as the saying goes.

Love isn’t everything either and it can be a very harsh and cold existence out there without it. Whoever came up with the saying “follow your heart” has never had it broken before. It can be one of the most disgusting feelings in the entire world. Those dark and empty feelings that eat away at your soul don’t normally just go away. Repeated heartache will in the end kill you due to the depression that comes along with it. The best way to deal with it is not to embrace the cold, but rather look for the light. Try not to dwell on the pain. Try instead to filter out the pain by doing something else and putting your head someplace else for a little while. It’s not something you should do for a long time, but rather something that should help deal with the short term chaos. The faster you get the pain out of your head, the faster you should heal. Why is it that people put up with abuse? Is it because they’ve come to learn to accept it? There is so much better out there for many people who will never know because they feel like they are trapped. You are only trapped in your head. There is always a way out one way or another.

Memories.

Since we only have one shot at life to get it right, you should always be true to everyone around you. It may come down to the fact that they don’t like what you are telling them, but the fact is they can respect you because it’s truth. If you have been hurt by someone or something in the past, take solace in the fact they they will be paid back one way or another. It is good to forgive someone for their past mistakes, but never forget. Don’t ever allow yourself to be bitten by the same snake twice. Life isn’t about what you have, who you know or what you’ve done. It’s about memories. Memories of yours and memories others have of you. Good and bad. If right now in your life you feel like this isn’t how you want to be remembered. Perhaps it’s time to change something. Start with the little things and work your way up to who you really want to be and who you really want to be remembered as. Some of the greatest people who have ever lived never truly realized how great they were. It was after their deaths that their lives were celebrated. These are the same people we can reflect back on for their innovation and foresight. If it wasn’t for the courage of your ancestors and family, you would not exist.

Make someone smile for having the privilege of knowing you. Do something for someone that no one else could ever or would ever do. Stand up for people less fortunate than yourself. Try to touch the people that truly matter most even when they don’t need it. Don’t hold all the things that happen to you in life against yourself or anyone else. Move on because the past will always stay in the past. Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else. Be the best person you can be in this lifetime. Act the way you want to be remembered and not how you are told to act. Believe in yourself even when no one else does. That’s the type of courage people are remembered for.

Question yourself.

There are a certain set of rules that you should generally accept in this life such as the way you are forced live and the guidelines set by society which is law.  Things that you cannot change.  There are also many rules that you should question and have the courage to change. Since the time we are small we are taught to not question our parents or other authority figures. This in turn is contributing to the devolution of us as a civilization. Instead of people questioning why things are and trying to come up with answers for better ways of doing things, they simply accept. They accept the set of rules set forth by someone who was being paid to make up those rules. Some of the greatest inventions and ideas in the world were thought of by normal people. People who didn’t accept things for the way they were. People who questioned themselves and everyone else.

There will be times when you think there is no way out, no place to turn, and no easy answer. The answers are always easy. Actually doing what needs to be done is what the problem is. If you want to be somewhere in life, it’s you that will get you there. Do not rely on other people. Use yourself. It’s the reason you’re here. Give up everything that you don’t need in order to bring everything that you do need closer. Question yourself and you will find the answers.  Use your brain to find the right answers and your heart to choose between them.

The pursuit of truth.

One day perhaps you will be lucky to find the one you were meant to be with. Your soul mate. Your everything. The person who you would without question give your life for if you had to. The Yin to your Yang. If it feels right, it just might be and if it still feels right after a few months of knowing someone, it probably is. Some say good relationships are built upon trust and compromise. Trust should never be an issue, it should always be there. If there is a need to compromise it should be worked out in a few seconds, a few sentences, but never huge fights. Some fights for a relationship may be healthy but fighting all the time is not. There are chaos seekers and hope slayers out there. Avoid them. If someone wants to throw you in the middle of a pack of dogs just to find out how you handle it, get out! There are people out there who want to break your spirit. Ones who want to mold you into whatever type of being they want you to be. These are the same ones that will lie, cheat, and steal from you. These are the ones that once they get you to where they want you, will use you over and over again and will manipulate as much as they can.

Calling one of these people out could be pretty catastrophic depending on how long you’ve been together. If someone says they want your help to change, make sure they are taking all the steps themselves and you are just there for support. Never try to help someone who isn’t taking the initiative to better their own life. It will only drag you down. If you spin your wheels when you’re stuck in the mud, two things happen. One you get no where and two you dig yourself a hole. Once you’re stuck in their hole that they helped you dig, sometimes it can be pretty difficult to climb out of.

Stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for what is right. Stand up for yourself. If you don’t lie you never have to remember anything. They say “The truth shall set you free!”, it works to a certain extent, but lies will definitely bury you and hurt you in the long run. Be honest to yourself and everyone you ever come in contact with. Don’t live a life in pursuit of the truth. Remain steadfast with unwavering confidence in the truth and everything will work out for you.

Chasing away the darkness.

There may come a day when you wake up and actually feel sorry for all the things you have done in the past. The people you’ve hurt. The problems you’ve created. The pain you’ve inflicted. When that time comes keep your head up above the waves of tears that will come rolling in and keep yourself from drowning. Don’t turn to drugs. Don’t turn to being oppressive. Don’t get cocky and pretend you don’t need anything from anyone. Realize what you’ve done and ask for forgiveness. If it isn’t true it won’t matter and it will not help you one bit.

I feel it’s true when they say that you will get what you deserve and what goes around comes around. I would have to say I am a firm believer in the instant-karma mentality. If I do something stupid I expect to get paid back in some sort of shape or form. If you do bad things to your family, your friends, or even complete strangers, expect all that to come back to you. It might not be now, it might not be ten years from now, but it is coming and you have the luxury of living with the fear that it will come back to bite you. Life isn’t about what you can get out of other people. It’s about what you can get out of yourself. Do you want to be remembered as a scumbag or would you rather be remembered as someone who would do anything for anyone. Someone who others could always turn to in their darkest hour and there you would be shining like a beacon of light to chase away the darkness. There are no answers in the darkness. Sometimes you don’t need to look far to find a knight in shining armor, just beware of the ones wrapped in aluminum foil.