There may come a time when you realize there are certain traits you possess that you don’t mean to have but were forced into having. These are the traits that work to your advantage to protect your head and your heart from harm, but they also can work against you and cause you to hurt someone you don’t mean to. If you are smart enough to realize you have a problem, then there is a chance. Just about anything can be unlearned. Sometimes the hurt you’ve experienced in the past subconsciously works it’s way into your present relationships by trying to protect you from being hurt again. There is a problem with this. If you’re trying to protect yourself without you even knowing then perhaps you aren’t really aware of what exactly is going on and perhaps it’s not always someone else but more you. Maybe it’s your actions that are causing you to be unhappy with your current situation and not someone else’s entirely. It could be that the person you’re with triggers a defensive mode that keeps you from being hurt and instead of reacting as you normally would, you react another way entirely and maybe realize it a bit too late. This same subconscious shield may also prevent you from really being close because you’re afraid of what might happen if you are. It works like an onyx veil reflecting the light off of you and at the same time keeping in the darkness to burn until it’s finally hot enough to break through. Hopefully you are mindful enough to realize that you are the cause and solution to your own happiness.
Find someone that you “want to be with” not “need to be with”. One needs to realize the power they have over themselves and use it to empower your ability to just let go. It’s easier to say forget it but a lot harder to actually follow through because the more you think about just letting something go the more it causes you problems simply because you are thinking about what caused the pain in the first place. Forgive and forget is the best possible answer to such things. Guarding yourself from opening up to someone else and expecting someone to let you down does nothing but speed up the process. Battle your own demons and if you must break a heart, let it be your own.
